Welcome to Nourish, a free monthly(ish) newsletter to help you be kinder to yourself and others. I'm Erin Strybis, a writer, mama, bookworm and believer. In your September 2024 issue: reflections on editing a wardrobe, tackling our to-do lists, a blessing for the school year, favorite board games and more…
Dear reader,
I stand in our dusty attic surveying mounds and mounds of clothing. In 22 days, these clothes must be sorted, donated and packed before the movers arrive. After nearly eight years in our Chicago home, we’re moving to the suburbs. First, I need to edit my wardrobe.
Before me, there are buffalo check flannels, a beloved yellow tank top, cozy oversized sweaters, and a striped maternity shirt I wore so much I cannot stand to look at it. That’s an easy choice for the DONATE bag. But the others? I’m not sure. One flannel has a hole in it and one sweater’s out of style. Could I patch the flannel though? Make the sweater work?
I toss the tops aside and sigh. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.
My eyes settle on a cloud-colored robe I wore while recovering from both of my C-sections. I run my fingers against its soft belt and instantly I’m transported to the hazy newborn stage. I wrapped this robe around my tender, postpartum stomach and shifted it open to nurse my children. Wearing this robe, I dug chocolate chip lactation cookies out of the freezer, changed tiny dirty diapers and fell into bed exhausted only to be awakened two hours later. I wore it over and over until my body shrank and my babies grew and one day, I had no use for it, so I folded the robe and stored it away.
Now? I want to linger in its softness a little longer. I try to remember who I was when I wore it, and what I dreamed about. I wonder who will wear this robe next — What kind of mother will she be? What will she dream about? Finally, I place it ever-so-gently in the DONATE bag.
The author of Real Simple’s Ultimate Moving Checklist insisted that editing your belongings will streamline the moving process.
What she failed to mention: Old clothes have stories stitched inside of them. You can donate a cloud-colored old robe, but what happens to its memories?
I spy a stack of work pants that haven’t been worn for several years. When I check the sizes, I cringe. Two and half months after my oldest was born, I went to Banana Republic to pick up new slacks — my current ones were too small and I needed to be back at work in two weeks. Gazing at my reflection in the dressing room, I sobbed. Beautiful new pants in a new-to-me size gave me a bittersweet feeling. I didn’t like my new size and I didn’t want to go back to work, but I had to move forward anyway. Today, I’ve paused my career to stay home with my youngest, an opportunity for which I’m deeply grateful. I gleefully toss the work pants in a DONATE bag.
I cradle a little black dress in my arms and recall each instance I’ve worn it — to my grandfather’s funeral, my girlfriend’s baby shower, a networking event. I laugh at a lacy lingerie from my bridal shower (never worn because I was too chicken to try it). I smile at the hot pink Lululemon tank I wore while teaching yoga classes. These clothes go in the KEEP boxes.
Three hours pass and I have four bags of clothes to give away and three boxes of clothes that comprise my edited wardrobe. The sheer variety of sizes, textures, styles and colors astonishes me. I’m struck by how clothes have been a sanctuary and a prison, a source of joy and a source of empowerment. How clothes have aided me in my various vocations. How clothes have held me in this home and will send me into the next one. How clothes are gateways to our lives’ trajectories.
“How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?”Jonathan Larson asks in his famous musical, “Rent.”
One (cheeky) answer: How about clothes?
Sunlight slants through the attic window and brightens the graying floorboards. Hidden in this dusty space, among bags and boxes of clothing, is the narrative of a multifaceted woman who’s shape-shifted a lot in her 38 years. She's lived in oversized sweaters, a hot pink yoga tank, a cloud-colored maternity robe, and a little black dress. She’s been married once, given birth twice and shared her gifts as a journalist, a yogi, an author, a singer. Now, she’s on the precipice of another change.
Where is God calling her? What will she wear — and do — next?
’s wisdom is helping me reframe my to-do list. In this post,she suggests we consider our to-dos as ideas, and to prioritize those ideas based on hard deadlines. “Often, I have to remind myself that we just don’t have enough time,” Glover Tawwab writes. “I joke and say, ‘I’m going to die with a to-do list,’ but it’s true. There is always something to do.” She’s right. I’m also making my list more enjoyable by adding some playful ideas alongside chores like “get the groceries” and writing it all down on this fun notepad.
If you shop for your household groceries, do you have a Secret Grocery Store Treat (™)? This chocolate bar is mine. Delicious and low-sugar, it pairs well with a hot cup of vanilla chamomile tea.
One answer to the question, “What will she wear next?” is this cozy sweater. I plan to wear it all autumn.
NOURISH OTHERS
Recently, we hosted a Dungeons and Dragons night complete with pizza, pop and ice-cream sundaes. To my surprise, my second grader declared it “the best playdate ever!” and it’s not just because the snacks were good. An avid video gamer, he genuinely loved connecting with others sans screens. Nourish your sense of community this month by hosting your own board game night. Our family favorites include Sushi Go!, Set, Uno Flip! and Candy Land.
sums up the heart-wrenching reality of sending children to school in the U.S. Like her and many others, I dream of a more peaceable and just society in which all children are safe at school and elsewhere. Moms Demand Action is one organization working towards this dream, and our family donates to advance their mission. This month, all online donations to Moms Demand Action made before September 30 will be matched, up to $75,000. Come November, I’ll also vote for candidates who are working to create safer schools and communities. How can you give your time, funds and/or votes to promote peace in our nation and world?
NOURISHING WORDS
On my bookshelf:
I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sánchez — I flew through this young adult novel detailing the story of Julia, a teenage girl grieving the loss of her only sister and discovering herself along the way. As the heroine grapples with her deceased sister’s secrets and her mother’s challenging expectations, she learns to cultivate empathy for herself and her mother. Sánchez provides keen insight into the experience of immigrants and those with mental health issues.
The True Secret of Writing by Natalie Goldberg — Though its title seems a bit gimmicky, this book is the real deal. With her poetic voice and witty writing advice, Goldberg offers a fountain of inspiration to writers with any stage of experience. I’ve been savoring a chapter before my usual writing sessions.
"...does [my life] feel congruent with how God made me and called me?
Some of us are made to be faster, and some slower, some of us louder, and some quieter. Some of us are made to build and nurture things. Some of us are made to write songs and grants and novels, all different things.
And I'm finding that one of the greatest delights in life is walking away from what someone told you you should be in favor of walking toward what you truly love, in your own heart, in your own secret soul."
— Shauna Niequist
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Loved hearing the stories of your clothes! Good luck with packing!
I loved your reflection on clothing! So poignant.