Celebrating The Beauty of Motherhood
Caring for my children is stewardship, and their very presence in my life is evidence of God’s grace.
Welcome to Nourish, a free monthly(ish) newsletter to help you be kinder to yourself and others. I'm Erin Strybis, a writer, mama, bookworm and believer. In your February/March 2024 issue: a journaling prompt, reading recommendations and marking The Beauty of Motherhood’s first birthday!
Dear reader,
My two-year-old Adam has entered his Busy Toddler Era. He gleefully “washes” dishes in the kitchen sink (while sloshing water on the floor). He’s never met a MagnaTiles tower he didn’t love knocking down (even more fun if it was built by his older brother). And what he likes most of all is playing with his oatmeal sensory bin.
Measuring cups, spoons and an assortment of toys embed themselves in a sea of oats situated atop our dining room table. Kneeling on a chair with his hands in the bin, Adam chooses his favorite excavator truck and proceeds to shovel oats back and forth. He grins and reports, “Mama, I moving my oat-moat!”
I rub his back and say, “Yes you are, buddy!” then return to my book. I’m proud, of course, but also grateful for the 20 minutes of respite this sensory bin affords. The only issue?
The oats land EVERYWHERE! They confetti the hardwood floor, the table and my child, meaning that cleanup afterwards will eat up 20 more minutes. No matter how much I vacuum or sweep, a few oats have a way of evading capture, which means I end up on the floor, too, unlodging them from crevices and sighing… heavily.
Some days, alright, most days, my work as a stay-at-home mom seems as granular as picking oat specks from the hardwood floor. Between cleaning messes, navigating tantrums and sibling squabbles, building with blocks, doling out snacks, washing and folding laundry, doing dishes, shopping for groceries, cooking, and trying but failing to organize all the stuff in the house, I rarely have a moment to zoom out and see the bigger picture.
Raising children is the kind of work that’s hard to see and nearly impossible to quantify — it’s invisible, unpaid labor that can leave us parents feeling like invisible people.
Whenever I look in the mirror and assess my tired eyes, I wonder, Am I doing this right? Does my work matter? Do I matter? Will my kids ever know how hard I worked to raise them well?
My faith tells me that yes, these beautiful, messy, trying days matter. When I finally zoom out and consider my work from God’s perspective, I can see the value in every diaper changed, playdate arranged and bedtime conquered. Caring for my children is stewardship, and their very presence in my life is evidence of God’s grace.
God’s grace says: Yes, you are beloved and worthy, mama.
Grace, much like the sacred vocation of motherhood, often goes overlooked. Motherhood media presents us with products, opinions, tips, tricks, what to do, what NOT to do and a whole lot of guilt for what we’re getting wrong. My friend Kim and I wrote The Beauty of Motherhood: Grace-Filled Devotions for the Early Years to remind readers: God cherishes every one of us, loves us unconditionally and is with us when we mother. Through Scripture, stories, prayers and practices, we hoped to connect tired moms with spiritual refreshment.
Today, on our book’s first birthday, we’re celebrating:
*2,972 books sold;
*105 Amazon reviews averaging 4.9 stars;
*multiple messages from readers who felt encouraged by our words.
In the past year, we've connected with readers across the U.S. and beyond through launch events, a blog tour, church book studies via Zoom and in person, moms’ groups, church parenting retreats, book signings, preaching and speaking engagements, farmers’ markets, and teaching a writing workshop at the Women of The ELCA Triennial Gathering.
To help us celebrate our book’s birthday, Kim and I have a question for you: Will you let a mom know about The Beauty of Motherhood today?
We would be so honored if you took a moment to share our book.
photo by Dani Elgas
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for being here, and for all the ways you supported this book!
NOURISH YOURSELF
Recently, I’ve needed the words of Mary Oliver’s famous poem, The Journey. As a family, we are starting the search for our next home. Spring has arrived and the depression that clung to me this past winter is lifting. Professionally, I’m entering my next chapter as a writer, exploring new modes of writing (fiction!) and returning to practiced genres (journalism).
It’s exciting and terrifying to be on the brink of change. Yet Oliver’s closing lines, “You strode deeper and deeper into the world determined to do the only thing you could do—determined to save the only life that you could save” bring a sense of peace as well as empowerment. They tell me it’s never too late to save yourself from harm and begin again.
A journaling prompt: Who and what do you need to leave behind this spring? Which adventures are ripe for picking? Which choices will encourage you to claim your voice? Where do you hope to travel in the season ahead? Spend ten minutes free-writing on this topic.
NOURISH OTHERS
How do you show up for yourself and others in the midst of hardship? In this opinion piece for the Times, Rabbi Sharon Brous looks to an ancient text to offer guidance. Brous encourages us to be courageous and vulnerable in asking for care when we are suffering. Similarly, when we notice others around us who are experiencing crises, the author suggests we ask them, “What happened to you? Why does your heart ache?” and genuinely listen to their answers. Brous continues, “We cannot magically fix one another’s broken hearts. But we can find each other in our most vulnerable moments and wrap each other up in a circle of care. We can humbly promise each other, ‘I can’t take your pain away, but I can promise you won’t have to hold it alone.’”
NOURISHING WORDS
An excerpt from The Beauty of Motherhood was recently featured on Build Faith: “Under the light of the moon amidst a sleepless night, God speaks to us: You are not alone, you are not alone, you are not alone.”
I’m grateful to Mothering Spirit for sharing our family’s miscarriage story: “The problem with loss, particularly miscarriage, is that it’s often invisible to others. Women don’t typically announce early pregnancy, and thus when miscarriage occurs, they may feel uncertain about sharing it. The church and society offer few rituals or guidelines for grieving mothers and fathers. The world wants us to hurry up and keep driving, yet a mother who’s miscarried can’t go on the same way she did before without taking time to tend to her healing.”
This brave, powerful piece from Shannan Martin on how and why her family left their church deftly articulates the need for churches to be safe spaces: “In one of the last beautiful days of October, I surveyed the garden that had not saved my life like I’d hoped. My grief bottomed out. It was time to tear up the battered cosmos. Move on.”
That’s it for your February/March issue. Thanks for being here and joining me as I celebrate The Beauty of Motherhood’s first birthday. Before I go, receive this blessing for a new season:
Purple crocuses rise from the hardened earth. A hint of warmth lingers in the breeze. The cardinals have returned. When I stop my frenetic rushing and stand still, I hear them singing. May I, too, lift my weary heart in thanks for the mercy of spring. Amen.
Grace and peace,
Erin
No matter the pull toward brink. No
matter the florid, deep sleep awaits.
There is a time for everything. Look,
just this morning a vulture
nodded his red, grizzled head at me,
and I looked at him, admiring
the sickle of his beak. …
But look; my niece is running through a field
calling my name. My neighbor sings like an angel
and at the end of my block is a basketball court.
I remember. My color's green. I'm spring.
—Ross Gay, “Sorrow Is Not My Name”
Happy book birthday to The Beauty of Motherhood!!
Here’s to a great year and more to come! Grateful to be doing it together!