Welcome to Nourish, a free monthly(ish) newsletter to help you be kinder to yourself and others. I'm Erin Strybis, a writer, mama, bookworm and believer. In your summer 2024 issue: a musical epiphany, a family update(!), mental health matters and a list of delights, including my favorite books of the summer.
Dear reader,
My husband Jay and I scurried toward a line of concert-goers, my stomach flipping with every step. After months of waiting, we’d arrived at the Aragon Ballroom for Jacob Collier’s June concert. I felt like a kid on the first day of kindergarten: half-thrilled to be there, half-terrified I’d bolt.
“Are you ready for this?” Jay asked, his voice gentle. He was worried the music would unearth memories I’d made peace with. I was too.
This past winter while I was depressed, I’d devoured Jacob Collier’s body of work. A talented vocalist, instrumentalist and composer, he creates bright, complex and playful songs. Don’t be afraid of the dark in your heart, he sings. You’re gonna find a way to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. During those cold, lonely months, his lyrics tethered me to hope.
When the artist announced his tour in January, I rushed to buy tickets.
Now my mind raced: Would his music bring me back to that dark time? Could his lyrics flood me with feelings of disgrace and despair?
Jay and I stepped through old-fashioned brass doors into the venue and followed the crowd up ruby carpeted stairs into a massive ballroom where the opening act was already performing. He squeezed my hand.
We’d made it from our home on the outskirts of Chicago into the heart of Uptown. Our trusted babysitter was putting our two boys to bed. I didn’t want us to waste a treasured date night. Also, I wanted to see if I could outlast those dark feelings, and maybe experience this artist and his work in a new light.
“I think so,” I said, meeting Jay’s eyes. “But if any of the songs make me sad, can we just go?”
“Of course,” he answered, circling his arms around me. People were packing in the space behind us; soon, the venue would be full.
The lights dimmed and Jacob Collier with his signature spiky black hair strode out on stage. Wearing neon red parachute pants, he seated himself at the piano and danced his fingers across the keys.
A rainbow of familiar notes sailed across the crowd. I turned to Jay, beaming. “That’s really him,” I exclaimed, my whole body tingling. “And, I know this song!”
Colored lights pulsed on the stage revealing a full band. Jacob leaned into the mic to sing. Screams of delight filled the arena. I closed my eyes and let his music wash over me.
Jay first introduced me to Jacob Collier with the song “Little Blue.” At first, I didn’t understand the artist’s appeal. Perhaps I didn’t need his music yet. Maybe art, like a perfectly timed gift, only meets us when we’re ready to receive it. Once strange and uncomfortable, “Little Blue” became a tattered sweatshirt worn in the midst of sadness.
Set after set, I marveled at the live renditions of well-known songs. Not only were they well-played, the songs didn’t weigh me down at all — they comforted and uplifted me.
Midway through the concert, Jacob stood alone on stage with his guitar. The spotlight zeroed in on him. The crowd grew still. He sang: And where I go / You'll lead me in the right direction / And with your love as my protection…
Tears pricked at my eyes. I leaned back into Jay. The reason I was better, why I was even in the crowd enjoying this concert, was him.
I see you clearly now / I hold you dearly now…
Even on the nights I thought I’d drown in tears, even on the days I couldn’t bear to face my own reflection, my husband never let me go. Faithful as the sun, he kept rising, loving me back to life.
The sun is in my eyes.
In time, the stage would swell with light and musicians and movement. Jacob would tell a joke, the crowd would laugh, bodies would bounce. Moments later, we’d raise our voices in a mass choir and luxuriate in waves of complex harmony. Later still, we’d file out hand in hand, our cheeks flushed from the excitement of the concert. But for now, Jay and I swayed together, basking in the final chords and each other's love.
NOURISH YOURSELF
One of the strategies that helped me heal from depression was grounding myself in the delight of ordinary things — food, music, sports, clothes, etc. There’s power in naming and claiming what brings us joy, especially if joy is difficult to uncover. I’m glad to report that, not only am I doing better, I thrived throughout June and July, relishing ten summer delights:
Earlier this year, I encountered a viral video about mental health:
I won’t spoil the ending, but it made me gasp. This video illustrates how checking in with friends and family about their mental health could save someone’s life. No matter how challenging life gets, please remember: You are not alone, your life matters and you are beloved. You are dear to me and many others. Don’t give up. Help is near.
We all have invisible burdens we shoulder, but sometimes, asking for help can be intimidating or even shameful. With loved ones, challenge yourself to ask, “How are you, really?” and truly listen. If you hear concerning words or notice warning signs of depression, be sure to ask this vital follow-up question, “Are you thinking of hurting yourself?” Then, connect those who need it with mental health professionals. For more on this serious topic, see “I wanted to ask. I needed to ask” by
If you are thinking of hurting yourself, please call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Hotline, to be connected with a caring, trained counselor who can listen and provide you with support, tools and resources for your wellbeing.
NOURISHING WORDS
On my nightstand:
Sandwich by Catherine Newman — In this moving, hilarious novel detailing the “sandwich period” of one empty nester’s life, Newman sheds light on the importance of maternal mental health and women’s body stories.
Tom Lake by Ann Patchett — Gorgeous, gripping and immersive, Tom Lake is a romance and coming-of-age tale like none other. This novel was my entire personality for four days. If there’s a casting call for Our Town, I’ll be there. (Kidding!) Not kidding: This novel is Patchett at her finest.
Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano — An updated take on Little Women set in Chicago, 1960s through early 2000s. I absolutely fell in love with each of the four sisters and this novel’s leading man.
Recent writing:
I CAN’T WRITE (Or, why writing has been hard lately!)
A set of devotions for the current issue of Christ in Our Home: July-September 2024 (find mine in September), available for order at the above link and found in the literature racks at many ELCA congregations.
Quick life update: We’re moving!
You might have noticed that Nourish didn’t arrive in your inbox this past June or July. This summer, I’ve combined June-August into one issue. Your next Nourish will arrive in September.
The past two months brought a whirlwind of preparations to sell our beloved home of over seven years, thus, my capacity to write has been limited. If you are the praying type, my family would greatly appreciate your prayers amid this huge transition.
Thank you sincerely for your patience between issues. Your support means the world to me!
Gratefully,
Erin
P.S., How can I pray for you? If you have a prayer request that you’d like to lfit up, I’d welcome it via email or the comments section of this issue.
“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and being alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You have to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes too near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could.”
This was beautiful. I loved reading about your concert experience. Wow. Glad your summer had more light than your winter. 🤗 My summer delights: pool & pizza parties with neighbors, friend reunion trip in the Smoky Mountains, devouring library books, gooey butter cake blue bell icecream.
Erin!! What an exquisite portrait of faithful, enduring love. And I love that the concert was such a redemptive experience for you. I'm going to go check out Jacob Collier now!
This was beautiful. I loved reading about your concert experience. Wow. Glad your summer had more light than your winter. 🤗 My summer delights: pool & pizza parties with neighbors, friend reunion trip in the Smoky Mountains, devouring library books, gooey butter cake blue bell icecream.
Erin!! What an exquisite portrait of faithful, enduring love. And I love that the concert was such a redemptive experience for you. I'm going to go check out Jacob Collier now!